countdown: 1 week
event: a unity between a man and a woman
specifics: my mom's getting remarried
thoughts: i don't know
it's weird to explain how i feel these days

i have two minds
i have two families
i'll break it down here
minds? there's two personalities in me, there's the ambitous, sucessful hopeful trav, and then there's dark trav, the one that see's no positive, (the dark trav reminds me of the android from hitchhiker's guide), so these two, are fighting all the time.
families: so my "real" family shat upon me, after all the business was taken care of, we went our own ways..well they did
mom-found happiness with a man i don't trust
brother-lost who he was, forgot who his friends are, forgot who is brother was...old jeff, you are missed, comeback, i miss being geeks, i miss talking for hours and arguing, but now, that old part of you isn't good enough to hang with the new self
i guess just another asshole...once again, you are missed

my new "family"-we are a bunch of misfits, society never wanted us, but they have a new world, one filled with a weird, yet comforting freedom, before my dad died, i was walking this line, of being upright, and snobby, looking down on all "those" people, you know, the people who dress different, have tattoos, piercings, ride motorcycles, etc. but now, i'm all of those, and to be honest, for the first time in my life....i'm accepted.
i'm with "my" people, i'm with the most down to earth people ever, while being the guy i used to look down on, i don't care what people think about me, no one should, ya know? live your fucking life, regardless of what anyone has told you, you are fucking unique, you are different, tyler durden was way off, you ARE a unique snowflake. everyone's different, its' the way the world is, everyone has strengths and weaknesses. i realize this, even i do.
so in essence, if you are reading this, you still give a shit about me...thanks
if you are reading this and know me, drop me a line sometime, i'm depressed and lonely this time of year, and always, always willing to go for a cup of coffee.
as imperfect as my life seems, as shitty as i've made it out to be (most of it is true)...i'm still living
i'm still here to say "i got a lot left in me, what next" i'm ready to take the world on, it'll take a bit, but i'm not fucking stupid, i never really was, i can be "dim" but hey, who isn't?
and just to let all you down kids know, suicide, is never the way to go, it may be a release for you...but think about your peers, your friends, and your family, it destroys everything. it takes them apart piece by piece.
life sucks, god is cruel, well, he's a bit of everything i guess, but you know what???
take a breath of air and realize...you're still alive

music-The Get Up Kids-Four Minute Mile-the officical soundtrack of Trav's autumn, pick it up, it's good, a lot of it reminds me of my first year of college, and now relistening to it after years and years of collecting dust...it brings back feelings i can never describe to you-enjoy it yourself

movie-i've been watching CSI non stop...here, we'll do this
pick a movie that you like...that i might not have seen...and put it in my comments
because you fuckers...
aren't commenting