still jobless...still very very jobless, but i have my health. after dealing with a lawyer, asshole relatives, and auctioneers, i'm happy to be having a night to myself in sioux falls. i was cordially invited to a bday party tonight, by a girl. i've known sarah since my freshman year, then lost touch with her over the last few years, then she just appeared one night, it's weird how that works. anyways, she rocks. my tattoos are still sore, it annoys me to no end. good news on the farm front, i think we might be able to cover the $90,000 debt that are father left behind, by selling everything, farmland, house, childhood memories. this last week, an extreme rollercoaster of emotions, i caught myself blowing up and punching walls and then crying on the phone with my mom. it's a fucking mess. he killed himself and left behind piles and piles of paperwork such as disability rejections, bills, insurance papers, etc. he also left 80 acres of land, 6 head of cattle (which sold for 800 a head), machinery, and anything worth selling so we can take care of things. part of me is just worn out, part of me is angry at him for doing this to us, part of me is sad and part of me blames myself for not being a better son (this is a small part). so i guess, this is how all people deal with a suicide.