1:13 pm, monday afternoon, phone call wakes me up from my supervisor at Sioux Valley, wants to know if I would like a part time job filing...yes, yes i told her. lo and behold...i now have a second job. i can afford the necessities such as...movies. that's about it.
i have nothing else to say.

fina FUCKING lly, snow, it's switching seaons, being stuck in a perpetual fall...is too much, fall's my most depressing time of the year. i'm for once...happy for snow, if you can't tell, i updated the SHIT out of my blog, new facelift and ...maybe later SPINNING RIMS!!!
...so, prob not spinning rims, i can't stand those things, and i have no idea why people by them, and i can't help but feel sorry for those who by spinning rim hubcaps. ANYWAYS, it's late, it's very very late, i'm all by myself in the computer lab at USF, everyone is asleep, just the way i like it, being in this solitary confinement has its own advantages such as freedom from obnoxious football players reciting the britlliant art that is known as larry the cable guy, freedom from baptists who wish to pray for me everytime i say FUCK really loud (demons), and freedom from ditzy volleyball girls who laugh at me, the joke is on you-i won't get knocked up by my dumb boyfriend.
anyways, that's it for now, peace.

tonight has been one of those ever so dreaded nights of emotion and thought, i rarely have those anymore, i guess i haven't been intellectually stimulated in a while. after reading my blog i realize something, i bitch too much. i may have had a shitty run of things recently, but times get like that, ya know? i have made a realization, after all the schools and all the majors, i realize what i need to do, something. i'm afraid of growing up i guess, i hang out with people that act the same as i do, i'm afraid that once i graduate i'll have to be responsible, get married, and have kids and do nothing after that. but what i've realized, is that i've done so many things that few people have done. i've sung at carnegie hall, i've had a girlfriend, i've had MORE than one loved one saved from cancer, i've experienced sex, drugs and rock and roll (they're all over rated), i've met the best and worst of people and realized that there are more "best" than "worst." i've listened to the best music and seen the best movies. and do you know what the best part is? i have a lifetime to do more, i want to see europe, i want to fall in love in paris, i want to get lost in japan, i want to see more concerts, i want to make more friends, etc. i guess my depression is almost over, life isn't all that bad, it's more bad than good, but those good parts, those fleeting moments in life that happen out of nowhere, those moments that you realize that life isn't all that bad, whether it be for days, or even seconds, those are the moments most worth living for.
whether it be looking into the eyes of a girl you love while lying next to her listening to music, or kissing a girl for the first time, graduating high school and realizing that you'll never be ignored again, or having a cigarette out in a blizzard all by yourself talking to God, or seeing your brother out of the mental institution, or having a girl cry on you, or having the sun come out on your friend's funeral, or watching one of those movies that end with you having a smile and eyes filled with tears...these are the moments we have to look forward, these moments make me forget that...these are shitty times.
sorry for this rambling, but i felt i have to get it off my chest
trav
"one day i am gonna grow wings" -radiohead